Complaining

So there are about thirteen hours until my flight leaves. In this time I would really like to pack my bags, start and finish this assignment and finalise travel details. I would also like to go to Mugai Ryu and the basic hand-to-hand class preceding it, as well as the journalling and sword cleaning that follows it, but I acknowledge that this six hour chunk of time is a little too much to spare right now.

 

I’m tired. I’m stressed, too. I’m not entirely sure how I got to this stage- in my mind, I was packed yesterday and had the itinerary sorted almost a week ago, but here I am scrambling to make all the pieces fit in time. I guess the my main undoing was assuming I could plan an entire holiday in three, maybe five hours tops. In reality it’s been about six hours a day for the past five or six days, just trying to pick cheap but comfortable/safe hotels, finding things I want to do and planning the train, bus and coaches to get there and back in time for the events or nightfall, as well as the millions of last-minute things that I hadn’t considered, like finding a working camera or gluing my headphones back together.

 

Maybe I’ll nap. Or maybe I’ll just get started on that assignment, and address packing later. I was going to write more about the holiday, but just sitting here in this room at this computer again is stressful and exhausting. I haven’t the heart to think about the future when I’m struggling to be ready by tonight. Mmf. I’m sure it’ll all be worth it in the end. Ttyl.

“Uniaeca”

Uniaeca

Joining hands, bound together

Overlocking links of flesh and chain,

Hidden bracelets in plain sight

Never faltering to ask the world.

Masks of bravado aside, to want

All and nothing. An unreasonable

Request.

Silence – enough to hear the beating

Heart of imprisoned freedom.

A wasted pain, a cherished joy.

Lonely, yet together;

Love’s barbed embrace.

Things that make me happy

1. Sunshine
2. Puppies
3. Bethwyn
4. Ice cream
5. Winning stuff
6. Taking that first step into a new dojo/training school
7. People who believe in fairies
8. Finishing work early
9. Owning a complete collection of something
10. Achieving deep peace through meditation
11. Butterflies
12. Getting a streak while hitting the speedball
13. When the underdog wins against the odds
14. The sound of a puzzle piece clicking into place
15. A perfect hug. Not too soft, not too tight, not too firm and not too squishy.
16. Katsumoto, from The Last Samurai.
17. Having a perfectly clean sword, if only for a moment.
18. A perfect cut, that cuts through all dimensions.
19. DragonBallZ.
20. The Legend of Zelda!
21. Satoru Iwata, president of Nintendo.
22. Okami!
23. Being able to play any video game I want for as long as I want
24. Eating meals with friends
25. Reading, just coz.
26. Healthy vegetarian meals
27. Donating to charity
28. Opening a new can of something
29. Hot showers
30. Good, long sleeps
31. Umbrellas
32. Knives
33. Gay and lesbian couples who aren’t afraid to hold hands in public
34. Any couple who isn’t afraid to make out in public!
35. Polyamory and healthy constellations of love and trust
36. Human rights and social justice
37. Magic tricks
38. Salubriousness (things that are healthy to do)
39. Taijiquan (which translates to Supreme Ultimate Fist)
40. The Japanese language, and speaking in broken Japanese
41. The Japanese people.
42. The crisp snap of a new gi.
43. Breaking stuff with my bare hands and feet.
44. Driving.
45. Hamish and Andy
46. Perfect grammar (of which I am currently not using for tiredness)
47. Sharing a hot drink with loved ones.
48. Snuggies (and slankets!)
49. Random acts of kindness
50. Clean water for all
51. Food!
52. Chocolate, in particular.
53. San Churo’s, in even more particular
54. Poetry
55. People who practice parkour
56. People who practice capoeira
57. Hakama
58. The wilderness
59. God
60. People who are kind, take the time to listen and who care.
61. Clothes that are both comfortable and look awesome.
62. Skirts.
63. Ponytails.
64. Jeans and tee combos.
65. Travelling around the world in pursuit of knowledge and pleasure.
66. Connecting with a stranger in a way few of your friends can understand.
67. Typing.
68. Playing the piano.
69. Zombie survival games, where the odds are strongly in your favour and you’re not scared out of your wits for most of the game.
70. Assassin’s Creed.
71. People who love cosplaying.
72. Certain episodes of South Park.
73. Pajamas
74. Running in fresh air
75. Getting up so early that no one’s awake
76. People who treat animals as equals
77. Creating lists
78. communitychannel
79. Friends who accept you, exactly the way you are
80. Aloneness. (Paradoxical isn’t it? I can love both)
81. Fountain pens and cool stationery.
82. Money. Sadly, capitalism has struck me, too.
83. Nerf guns and their highly amusing uses.
84. Friendly competition in the martial arts.
85. The Umbilical Brothers
86. Bill Bailey
87. Music that gets your heart pumping
88. Music that breaks your heart with its beauty
89. People who aren’t afraid to practice their religion in public (without, of course, imposing it on others)
90. My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
91. People who know my name isn’t actually Xin, but call me that anyway
92. Honesty
93. Red hair
94. Cuddling in bed
95. Utopia/Formosa/vegetarian substitutes for meat
96. Guitar Hero, especially with people who are comfortable on Expert mode
97. Really bad (but inoffensive) jokes
98. When people come together to make the world a better place
99. Being able to drive anywhere I want, at any time of day or night
100. The smell of baking
101. Love without restriction