Xijx sxacthod…

Hey look at that. It’s 7pm and I’m frickin screwed. Here’s my plan. SMS Ivy and wish her good night, or ask her to call earlier. Then I sleep to rest my terribly aching legs (it hurts to walk) and wake up early. Pete’s ignoring me so he can play Gunbound, and I don’t know what we’re doing in English tomorrow. Well, on the plus side, I’ve yet to break my promise of playing any games today. I’ve just procrastinated by other means. I wish I were seriously injured by something, like a snake or spider bite, or maybe break a bone. Preferrably a leg. Hm, why? I don’t know, just punishing myself in a way I guess. Mmkay time to get going. I miss you Ivy…


Yes, I’m different. But what is different? The opposite of what it normal. What’s normal though? Normal is what people will treat as acceptable. Another element of every day life. If being normal means that I’m just another average guy out there, no, I’m not normal. I’m John Marshall. I break the trends, I am myself, and hey, no one’s about to change that unless I want them to. John Marshall. That’s me.

And abstract, I know, but while I remember, the security guard had to poke me awake on the train to ask for my ticket. Aaaah I’m so tired. One of the girls was lying on the row of seats. "I’m with you there." I murmered as I got off. I’d better get going hey. Mm, ciao then.


Wooo just came back form the Salvation Army and I’m tired. My legs hurt. I should probably change out of my jeans, but to get to my room I have to walk, and my legs stopped doing that an age ago.

*sigh* The doorknock appeal was fun though. Loooots of walking, running, jumping onto fences and across gardens. I was writing receipts on behalf of the people who didn’t want them.

"Little Asian Dude" was located at the house with the cute dog.
"Fatguy" was waiting at the gate.
"Smokey" was standing in front of the rundown car yard.
"Cool Guy" gave us all the change he had- 20c. The rest he needed for his ticket. He lived at the trainstation.
"Carguy" lived on his driveway.

I’m sure the salvation army’s gonna get pretty ticked, but hey, we raised more money than anyone else. Two nice guys gave us $50.  Nevertheless, my partner and I raised about $180 from a few streets and kept the whole bus waiting. Ahhh that was fun.

As you should know by now, I’m a sucker for girls/ladies. One of the ladies living in a villa apologised and said she spent her last $20 on food and had nothing left. I smiled with a small nod, wishing her good day while being moved in my heart. Returning to the shadows and unsheating my notepad, I wrote "The Salvation Army; Helping people in need. (Have a nice day =))" and left the note with $5 in it in her letter box. I wish I could help more, but it was all I had. I think it’s doing everything you can to help is what counts. My reward is knowing that the next day, she would wake up to check her mail and find that those two young people from the salvation army cared for her, and she would smile and think about what happened for a little while. After that, it’s all up to her. I love anyone who will accept that love, but I guess that’s not the challenge of life. What we’re called to do is love those who reject us, but I won’t get into the whole religious side of things.

What I noticed about the people who gave us money is that the old people didn’t have anything to spare, or couldn’t hear us. The poor people gave us all they could spare, and the rich people ignored us entirely. It was the average people who gave us a lot (tin of coins and $100 for instance). It says something about our society though, and I’d like to help. I was analysing every house we went to. "Run down but comfortable." "Able to repair but not replace." "Different styles of artwork- must have bought them. Rich! $$(Cha ching)$$" "Old and stylish. Money." "Shoes left out- someone came home recently." "Padlock. I uh, don’t think we’re wanted." "Gate and little grass, no signs of natural causes.. Hm, a dog lives here. Get ready to run." So on and so forth. Mm…. Yeah that was fun.


Still, it’s getting late in the afternoon, and I haven’t really done anything today as far as homework reaches, so I’m off for now. Meep.

Oo, and to get to the Kings Hotel from the trainstation:
At the train station there were many buskers. One of them, David, told a story with his camera. Once upon a time in New Zealand, there lived a wombat. For $2, it bought a pen of might and tackled a haystack across the street and they tumbled into McDonalds, the cinema and eventually came to a stop in Subway. There, he was crowned king.

In other words, from the train station, leave at the main entrance past all the buskers, David Jones, the Camera Shop, New Zealand Natural, the Wombat Lodge, the $2 shop, the stationery stop (Parker pen picture hanging from the ceiling), go down Hay Street, past McDonalds, the cinema, and finally subway, and you’re there! Lol I know it’s complex, but it’s easy enough for me to remember. Arr… I met Jess for the first time today too. She’s different from MSN to person, which admittedly I’m thankful for. She’s a much nicer person that I gave her credit for, and not at all annoying- except… she forgot my rock. How could anyone forget a rock that often?! Hee hee, nevermind. Mmkay.

And just for when Ivy reads this, yes darling, I do miss you. You’re my one and only. Mm, I’ve been wondering where you are and what you’ve been doing all day. Come home soon baby.. <3


Hey there. I just came back from a concert performed by WAYO; Western Australia Youth Orchestra. Credit wasn’t accepted, so we had to pool $64. Where did we get this you ask? Me! Gah! In times of need, turn to John, the rich boy! I’ve got like $600 in my bank account, all of which I’ve saved over about a 16 months to spend on/with Ivy, but hey. It seriously wasn’t worth it lol. I zoned out for more than half of it, just thinking quietly to myself. Generally about Ivy. *sigh* I wonder what she’s doing in China? I missed a call from her which upset me, and I’m sure it upset her a little too, though she won’t let it bother her if I answer the next. Now, a few things to say.

My Dad was telling us about how you’re only stupid if you get caught, speeding to the Perth Concert Hall so we wouldn’t be late. We arrived with minutes to spare, by the way. Nevertheless, he was following a speeding car, telling us that he was the test-dummy and if there was a flash, hey, we’re safe. At that exact moment, the headlights loomed out far enough into the darkness to illuminate a police car he whizzed by. Heh heh heh, apparently we learned the lesson that it doesn’t always work. Pfft, yeah more like ‘My advice is risky, but I get away with most everything anyway.’

Saturday is idiot’s night. I’m not sure exactly what that means; lacking my notepad, I wrote it in an unsent SMS. However, on the wa back from the concert hall, there was a breathaliser. I watched a young Asian woman get in the police bus and it saddened me a little. I wonder what her story is… I wonder what a lot of people’s stories are. *sigh*
My Dad also told us about two students, a girl and a boy, who went to the top of a tower in the city and walked to each of the four corners with rifles, shooting random people 50 metres away. When the girl was eventually caught, this is what she said.
"Mondays are always boring."
Now how messed up is that. Admittedly yes, it would be cool to stand on a tower and sniper off targets, but innocent human beings? That’s just psychotic. I wonder what happened to her to make her do that… Again with the stories.

Again, on the way home, I was whining. Nobody listened, naturally.
"Why is it easier to ignore meee?" I looked around.
"You’re doing it now!"

Eugene: "So yeah, what was your favourite song?"
Dad: "The Tchaikovsky Piano Concerto."
Me: *folds arms and pouts* "Hmph!"

I’d also like to mention that I missed this morning’s hockey game because we drove around for 40 minutes looking for it and asking directions from a number of people. We ended up at challenge stadium until we gave up. It’s okay though, I was one of three interchanges.


I’ve bordered the edge of a philosophical breakthrough. Sophie’s World really does make you think, though I’ve only read one or two chapters. Who are you? Where does the world come from? Sure, I’m John Marshall, but who is that? What does it mean to be me? Everyone in the world has snuggled so deeply into their comfort zones they would never leave them given the chance. Life is ritual, it is habit. If a rock floated to the ceiling, a 2-year-old child would laugh and clap, exclaiming "That rock can fly!" If his mother saw it, she would scream and pull the child away. The child does not know what is accepted in our world. He does not know that rocks are not meant to fly, everything to him is a wonder, a mystery. Life is amazing. As he grows older, he learns to stop jumping up and down every time he sees an aeroplane, or a dog. It becomes every day life, and there is no wonder to the world until he reaches the point where he knows rocks are not meant to fly. Everything must have been created by something, so the universe was created at some point, but from and by what? God? Who is God, what created Him? Did he exist forever? Then what was before that? Is time endless? Questions quesitons questions. Science presents a number of answers, but the nature of philosophy is not to answer, but to question. All it takes is the ability to wonder, and you’re a philosopher.


I think I’m done with tonight’s little rave. Mm… I wonder where Ivy is now, and if she’s enjoying herself. I didn’t spend any of today doing homework. I don’t know how but the majority of it was stretched over Adventure Quest and Age of Empires- Age of Mythology. Mm, Ssalvation Army doorknock appeal tomorrow morning, I’d better get some sleep. I then plan to wake up fresh 8 or 9 hours later so I’m not distracted by lethargy and spend the rest of tomorrow working my ass off. I promise now that I will not use the computer tomorrow at all, except for need of work or in case of emergency/for someone else. No MSN, email, games or anything, just work, reading, piano, and work once more. *closes his eyes, laying his head back on the chair with a deep sigh* I’d better get to it I guess. Mm… I love you Ivy <3

I miss her.

I miss Ivy… Chu. She’s gone on a 10 day cruise in China, and I set my alarm to SMS her before she left, but now she’s probably there and I might distract her from the experience. Ah the hell with it, I may as well.

I’m rather depressed. I’m sure I’ll get over it, but I’m just thinking "No games at all for the rest of today. You’ve got plenty of homework to do, let that be your entertainment." And so it shall be. Piano, maths, English, Physics, Music as well as read a bunch of booklets/book on various things, + write a letter to someone for Amnesty International.

Ahh Mum’s home, I have a hockey game soon, I’d better get going. Mm… I’ll speak plainly, because for some reason I feel that when Ivy reads this, she will want to know what I’m thinking.
I miss her. I miss her already, and there’s no point for me to come online now, knowing there’s absolutely no chance that she will be here. I’ve suddenly been left a whole lot more meaningless, but she’ll return eventually. I can distract myself with homework so I don’t get depressed, but hey. I’ve got a lot of homework. It’ll work. Anyway, gotta get going. Christchurch has a pickle I want to eat.



"You’re right handed."
"I know I am."
"Just telling you."
"I noticed."
"Oh? How did you notice?"
"Cuts on your left wrist."

She went quiet after that.


Another girl had scars on her left arm. They were both from Mercedes and sitting a few metres away from each other. Why? Why haven’t I ever seen a guy with those same cuts? Namely because if anyone has them, they’ll be labelled the depressed suicidal maniac. In an all girl’s school, I don’t think people notice, or just want to help. That’s what I gathered from talking to Lee anyway. But why? Guy’s don’t seem to be depressed all that often; they mask it far too well for that, and it’s not really allowed in Trinity College; it shows vulnerability. If we had the freedom to though…

But why? Katty, Katie, Lee, ‘girl’, ‘other girl’, people who’s story I could never comprehend. Why? I believe that every happy spirit can be seen as a flame, and depression is when that flame goes out for whatever reasons. If it’s re-lit, then the creatures that live in the darkness of the subconscious would be pushed back again. If not, they would greet whoever’s waiting at the cold, empty fireplace. If they talk to the person long enough, the fire place may never be re-lit with the same warmth.

Maybe Lee didn’t re-ignite the flame in time. Maybe the rest of them chose not to. In other words, they were depressed, and they didn’t want to be happy again, and now they’ve forgotten what it means. I wish I could help them somehow. I can… but do they want help?


Evening ladies and gents. Heeeeee I’m so screwed lol. I’m getting the crap beaten out of me by the "Shadow Court".

nemesis_wings burned you with two shots of Garlic Spray!
aislinblue burned you with Holy Water!
Your blood has been drunk by: aislinblue, nemesis_wings.
nemesis_wingsburned you with Holy Water!
ophelia burned you with Holy Water!
aislinblue burned you with Holy Water!

nemesis_wings says "~runs up to you and kisses your cheek, then slaps you~ Hi my poppet. Miss me? ~gasps~ whatever shall people say about us!"
Now, it was all friendly fun, splashing each other with holy water, but she’s just outdone it. Nobody slaps teh Xin. Too bad I just ran out of weapons -_-

The continued their degrading comments and otherwise bloody assaults (I’ve lost a little under 500 pints of blood; that’s about 7 weeks worth of gameplay)

(You withdraw 2499 coins)

You give Shadow Angel 2783 coins.


Xin says "The final blessing Xin leaves in this world has
been granted to you. Spend wisely, but more importantly,
trust only those closest to you. Be wary of the Shadow Court,
and swift hunting. ~Xin"

Lol if I stop running, they can’t attack me because I’m on the same square. I plan to get to Obsidian and 99th where a computer character will attack anyone who comes near her with vials of Holy Water. If I’m going down, I’m hoping they will too.


Anyway, I’ll just blog the bunch of stuff I wrote down in my notepad over a collection of a few days. I haven’t really had time to otherwise. Ahhh I think Pete might be right. "Speaking of KKK… Mr Emmanuel!" Really, really mean, and I don’t find it funny, but it knocks old Bobby, so… Bup, he was yelling at us after class about showing respect to guests and so on and so forth. After fuming and yelling for a while (calling people their last names I might add), "Okay. Stay right where you are until the bell goes." *BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRING* Lol I was tempted to just walk out but I would have probably died before I walked out the door.


Woo brb, phone.
"Hello, may I speak to John please?" Omigosh she’s so formal! What’s wrong with a
"Hey, is Ivy there?" Lol she’s such an angel, omigosssh I love her sooooo much! Muacks! <3<3<3 *sighs, crooning*

Anyways, we did Careers Information today, and Daniel Randazzo is an absolute superstar. Lol he’s a short guy, but he’s the group bouncer, and he was bouncing Trent. Apparently Trent is going to be a professional hobo when he’s old enough. He’s bought his block of land, cardboard box and trash can already. Lol Ranadazzlingdazzo’s awesome, I wish I could find a way to show him just how much.

"You guys are idiots." Year 12’s were throwing food at each other, as they do every recess in front of the gym. They’re so stupid, seriously. I thought I would let them know. As I walked to the gym, penlids and rubbish hit the wall next to me lol. I felt so cool, just walking past this rain of bullets, almost Matrix style. Silly year 12’s, but hey, at least the seagulls got something out of it.

Mr Quatermaine yesterday was giving us more information about subject selection for the last two years of high school. Someone asked if Religion was compulsary, and I’m sure Pete would have something to say about it but hey. "Yes, it is compulsary. If you don’t do it, you’ll not only fail…. you’ll go to hell." Lol had to be there situation I guess.

Finally, there’s this rather large issue of me suddenly having an arranged marriage in Singapore to some chick I’m going to bang as soon as we meet. In the less extreme side of the rumours, I’m engaged to my girlfriend and will marry her when I’m 18. *sigh* It all started so innocently.

"Are you married John?"
"Then why are you wearing that ring on that finger?" Of course, I never like saying the typical boring answer; i always have to come up with some ridiculous story no one would believe. Coincidently enough, this time it was true.
"I’m engaged." Word spread faster than wildfire. The class new in a matter of seconds, and it spread to other classes hastily, and no doubt Eugene will hear about it, and then I’ll be screwed. People asked if I’ve seen her naked. No, I have not. They asked if I’ve masturbated over her. What did I say? Being the fool I am, "Yes, occassionally." They swallowed it so eagerly it scares me. They’re so stupid it hurts. Nevermind, I’ve learned my lesson from talking to Ian Raymond, Josh House or David Michael. I wonder if I’ll end up hurting any of them. Josh and I nearly got into a fight afterschool; he ‘borrowed’ my hockeystick and wouldn’t give it back, so I just disarmed him. Anyway, the rumours have spread, and they’re not going to be forgotten any time soon.

Admittedly, I’d absolutely love to get into a fight with someone. Fusion off my anger, either through my own physical pain or the pain I inflict on them. It’s not healthy. Meep I’d better get going. Rather tired but more importantly, a lot of homework to do, so I’ll get down to it now whilst waiting for Ivy. I love you baby girl

G’night world.