Quietude

I am like the deep oceans that resound with silence.

Ever since I was little, I have sought out quiet places and found them deeply calming.
When prayer time ended and all the other kids went onto the next activity, my teacher let me finish the rosary.
At recess, a stray soccerball lead some kids to find me meditating on a tree stump behind the classroom.
At the peak of Mt Sinai I watched the sunset for hours as I thought about God and the universe.

I have a thousand examples such as these. It’s such a pleasure to me to be in quietude, to slow down enough to hear myself think. To let the waters inside of me settle so that I can see clearly to the bottom. And those waters run deep.

I take the quiet with me, and I share it with those around me. Throughout my life, many people have said to me that they feel calmer around me, that I have a grounding presence, that my energy helps them to slow down. Sometimes I really amplify it, when I can see someone is stressed and vibrating themselves to pieces. It’s tiring, but it’s nice knowing I helped bring peace to them.

I felt so incredible seen when Bud from The Adventure Zone: Graduation said, “But… for now, we will both eat our berries and be quiet, huh? I think sometimes they forget how to be quiet.”

Solitude and silence have always been important to me. But I don’t think that most people these days have forgotten how to be quiet, just that they don’t value it in the same way that I do. I find it hard sometimes to keep things light and fun, and it puts a strain on my relationships because people don’t always want to connect with heaviness and seriousness.

And that’s okay. It just feels a little lonely sometimes.

One thought on “Quietude

  1. […] think my last blog post might have been a tad dramatic. I was feeling hurt and confused that a part of myself that I love […]

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