Shorn

That’s a bit of a cheeky title. I didn’t cry, as I expected I would. In fact a little part of me feels like I’m blowing things out of proportion. But a big part of me is still aware that I gave up something I had spent years lovingly crafting. (So loving it bordered on creepy. Every time I found one of my silver hairs had been pulled out, I said goodbye to it. More often than not I named it and thanked it for its service. Balthazar was the last to go.)

The hairdresser I found wasn’t super experienced cutting off hair for donation, but I talked her through it step by step and she was very happy to oblige. She did an excellent job styling my hair afterwards, although I still surprise myself in the mirror. To be honest, I barely notice that it’s gone. Certainly my head is a little lighter, but for the most part I don’t feel any different. Lots of little things keep reminding me of the change; the rustle as my short, sharp bristles rub against the headrest of the car; the feeling of wind on the back of my neck; my reflexive action to pull my hair free after I put on a shirt or pull a bag strap over my shoulder. It’s pretty relieving to be able to turn my head at night rather than having it trapped by my snagged mane. And I guess it’s exciting to be able to style my hair in different ways, but…

It just feels like a step back, y’know? I look in the mirror and I see myself as I looked three years ago. I remember looking like this. And I don’t like looking “the way I used to”. I liked looking like the way I wanted to look, brave and adventurous and defiant like a glorious pirate captain.

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Anyway, here are the photos of my haircut. I’m curious to see what my first shower will be like, shampooing and then not having to blowdry it. Although many of my friends have complimented me on my new look, I think the final picture sums up my own opinion perfectly.

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As Bethwyn points out, I’m putting on a Poutface

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It took her upwards of a dozen cuts to get through each ponytail.

It took her upwards of a dozen cuts to get through each ponytail.

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Shortly after this picture was taken I nuzzled the ponytail in disbelief.

So much hair! The hairdresser was amazed at its thickness and condition. I hope it is well-used.

So much hair! The hairdresser was amazed at its thickness and condition. I hope it is well-used.

Words fail to describe my mixed feelings about my new look. I feel both happy and sad at once.

Words fail to describe the mixed feelings I have about my new look.

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One thought on “Shorn

  1. […] It’s been quite a journey, and my only regret is not growing it long enough to feel it brush against the small of my back. Still, I am not willing to wait another two years to experience this sensation, and I think it’s time to let my dream go. Photos of my haircut and new look to come soon, I’m sure. [Edit: Pictures here.] […]

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