I’ve never really been one for New Years Resolutions. I think it’s silly to have to wait for a certain date before you can resolve to make positive changes in your life. But I’m going to give it a try this year, because I’ve learned something about making a resolution and sticking with it, even when it gets hard. Since the mini-gashuku, I’ve continued getting up and heading to the park at 6:30 to train. Sometimes I’m joined by others, but sometimes I am not. Forcing myself to get out of bed when I’m not getting enough sleep is hard, but it’s even harder to arrive at the park and realise no one else is coming. I feel cranky and tired and bitter, and then I make a choice. I allow myself to be cranky and tired and bitter, or I choose instead to appreciate having a lake nearby to drive to, fresh morning air to breathe, friends that I’ve made (Hey, it’s Fluoropants! Oh and look, there’s Crunches Guy! And the Maltese Walkers are here again today! Haven’t seen Kid With Dog lately though) and so forth. Actively choosing to be happy in spite of how easy it is to be self-piteous is hard for me most of the time, but I’m grateful for the practice. I want to keep pushing myself, to be uncomfortable and tired and sore and still choose to smile. So for the moment at least, I’m going to keep up with my training. Who knows how long it will be for? Maybe a whole year, wouldn’t that be spectacular!
Anyway, there are a couple of things I really want to work for this year, so I’m going to list them down below. Goals change like wind so I’m not going to be overly attached to them if I realise there are more important things than meeting them. But nevertheless, here are my resolutions for 2015:
- Get a (mostly) full-time social work job. That means 4-5 days a week. And it can be two part-time jobs. But they have to be regular, and at least one of them has to be in the social work field. It’s time I utilise my degree and pursue meaningful occupation.
- Move out of home. In John Marsden’s Secret Men’s Business, one of the best books ever written for young men struggling to find themselves, he writes that it’s important for a young man to move out of his parents’ house as soon as he has the means to. Leaving the protective bubble of the nest to find out what sort of man I am, what I’m capable of, what I like and what I’m good at, these are the things that are long overdue for me. In the next few weeks, I hope to be moving in with some friends from the dojo, hopefully within walking distance of the honbu.
- Get my black belt. Hm…. That’s not really even a goal. It’s just something that’s going to happen if I keep training. I don’t especially feel like a black belt, but I don’t think I ever will so now’s as good a time as any.
- Hm… Nope, that’s it. Just those three. Two, really.
As I said, I think waiting for a particular date is pretty dumb. If you want to do something, just do it right? (Unless you have other things that you need to do, in which case do them first.) Right now, I’m learning more and more about who I am and what I enjoy. All this running and training has been a great learning experience for me. I’ve had a few job interviews and another one coming up soon. I’ve really gotten into Katawa Shoujo, and it unfailingly teaches me more about myself as I witness Hisao and his companions figure out their own identities. I am studying Japanese, I am practicing the piano, and I am doing things every day that I love. Life is good for me right now, and I’m very grateful for every opportunity and every blessing. I wish you all a peaceful and nourishing new year. Hopefully it will be a good one!
PS: Just printed off and finished this most excellent New Years Resolution page from the Secret OWL Society. I had to sign up to a miling list to get it but it only took a minute or so.