A tree in the wind

Just a quick draft I found from June 2013. I’m guessing the reason I didn’t post it is because I didn’t feel I, or anyone, would benefit from it being made public. But I still think it’s true, and I think it’s worth sharing.

 

The idea for this blog post has been mulling around in my head for a few days now. I’m not quite sure how to say it, so I’ll just start writing and see what happens.

Slowly but surely I’m learning that I’m not the most important person in the world. This is a lesson that has been hard to unlearn, but I’ve really been giving of myself, from my heart to yours, really trying to listen to people when they speak and love everyone in every interaction. And truly, it has made things more wonderful. Connecting with people and caring about someone other than myself is wonderfully refreshing, inspiring and invigorating. It’s really wonderful to genuinely connect with another human being and care. And not to get caught up in whatever is going on for them, because I love them enough to not lose my own feet.

Roger once described me as a leaf in the wind. It was absolutely true. If anyone didn’t like me for any reason, I would go to extraordinary and self-destructive lengths to try and change their minds. Now, for some reason, I can hear what people are saying, feel what people are feeling, yet not let it affect who I am and how I feel. To a greater extent, anyway. When once it might have crushed me into a tiny ball, now I hurt, let go, and allow myself to be happy again and care about others. Not always of course, but I’m getting there.

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