Australopithecus Anamensis’

And just for lols, another blog from Myspace dated 17th May 2007.

 

Students of Trinity College,

I have never been so wrathful to be one of you. Not only am I human, but I’m in your year group, share your classes, and wear your uniform. The school is a community which I am undeniably part of, but you push it. You really do. I do not understand how your atavistic regression to making primate calls is seen as amusing. Imitating seagulls, velociraptors and chimpanzees should not give you a greater status in the social hierarchy of the school. Throwing food and smearing bananas on blazers is not supposed to gain respect. What infuriates me is that you all find it positively hilarious.

Maybe I’m not seeing the light side of things. Or maybe you should all stop rejecting your humanity. William Blake is currently making the world revolve from the sheer force by which he turns in his grave. You all disgrace your divine potential. I still have a great deal of trouble understanding how I’m supposed to be related to you Australopithecus anamensis’. Maybe in a few millenia you’ll evolve to be remotely like me. Until then, I will despise you, and am sorry to say that I wish you all had your penises removed, both for you to deplore the loss of your manhood and to prevent your genes from contaminating future generations. Thank you.

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2 thoughts on “Australopithecus Anamensis’

  1. Goodness! You write so eloquently even when insulting someone!!

    I find your entries so enjoyable to read sometimes – I hope this is okay <3

  2. […] “australopithecus anamensis” (with a stunning 121 hits leading poor researchers to my blog) […]

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