I’m not too sure why, but I felt inexplicably angry and frustrated today. I felt like smashing things to vent my frustration and cause needless destruction, and doing awesome martial art tricks to feel good about myself and earn the impressed approval of strangers. That tells me I’m insecure about some part of who I am, and not figuring it out is driving me crazy, but I’m not going to try to force an answer.
Anyway, I did my best to calm down by sitting across from a zen garden and watching a duck watch me as I ate my lunch, but it didn’t seem to do anything. I had a few hours before I needed to be home, so I decided that there was no real reason why I shouldn’t take a few hours to walk home. It wasn’t the smartest idea, and I had no real reason to other than it’s something I’ve always wanted to do, but I set out anyway to begin the long walk home.
It wasn’t quite as wonderful as I imagined it would be. There were moments of intrigue, wondering about little things I hadn’t noticed (like why that girl in the pink top was also making the long trek from Manning Road to Albany Highway, who left half a fresh tomato on the sidewalk, and since when did Roe Highway manifest under the bridge I’ve always driven over?) and discovering unrecognisable houses, rivers and cliffs I’d never paid attention to when I sped past them. But there was also a certain amount of complainy-pain and exhaustion from the trek- my knee is currently suffering and my whole body is tired and aching. I had no idea walking could be difficult, but it’s been a long time since I’ve tried to walk any great distance, so I guess everyone has their limit.
It felt good to be part of the small demographic who don’t speed around in automobiles pumping out pollution, but I don’t think I’ll make it a regular thing. All in all, it took about 2.5 hours to walk the 11 kilometres. Normally it’s a 25 minute drive to uni, so it takes approximately six times longer to walk somewhere than to drive there. At least I will be grateful next time I get in the car. And at the very least, the walk took away my anger and replaced it with sweat and a confused sense of accomplishment. I think I need much more practice at walking mindfully, but I’m glad I got some in.
Hope you guys are going well, and your lives are not interspersed with unexplained rage! Peace and love to all.