“Imagine if you’d won- then you’d have nothing to perfect!” – Bert Giorgi, wiser than he lets on. After a good night’s sleep, I’ve had enough time to process my feelings about the tournament. Fundamentally, I’m disappointed I didn’t win. Not because I’m not as good as I thought I was, but because my opponent was better than I had anticipated. I find it hard to believe there are people (other than black belts) who are better at martial arts than I am.Something I didn’t factor into a fight is the aggression and pressure. I always thought I would be perfectly controlled in a fight (though pumped full of adrenaline)– that I would not be affected by pressure because I would always be winning. But that was proven untrue yesterday. And when it’s all put on the line, two people fighting to win, it’s easy to use that aggression to try and overpower your opponent. You get angry, you want to dominate them, to win. But sometimes even that’s not enough. When I got flustered, I began to attack more recklessly, and I copped a few more hits because of it. It’s always important to maintain control (both of the self and the fight) to maintain the upper hand.
But ultimately? I think the reason I lost is because the other guy was better. He was more aggressive, had longer reach (I suspect the tables would have been turned if he was smaller than I was) and never gave me a chance to relax. And now that I’ve acknowledged that, I’ve freed myself to train for the right reasons: not out of vengeance or a quest to be undefeatable, but to gain greater mastery of myself so that if I’m faced with such a person again, I’ll be better equipped to try again.
Okay. That’s all the entries for the tournament, I promise. Thanks again to Bethwyn for all the photos she took!