Holidays always seem to be that pot of gold at the end of the rainbow of struggles. You’re really busy and stressed with work, or study, or some variety of commitments. For months on end you wish you could have a break from it, a time where you don’t have to spend all your free hours reading or filling or whatever it is you do when you’re busy. When you reach the gold you go for a swim in it, relish it, sleep all day, play video games, see friends. But for me, the vacuum left in time and space can be agonising. Having only a few things planned in a full 15 hour day. It can be torment having that much free time.

And yet, during semester I make all these plans, all these things I want to do. But when I get there, the emptiness of my schedule can be crushing rather than uplifting. It’s something I’m struggling with, especially when I think of times to come, weeks of empty schedules.

Jack, my counsellor, suggested I turn my attention to the present rather than the daunting future. To forget what I’ll do and to look at what I’m doing. It’s a trying thing for me to stop planning, but you know? It’s kind of working.

Today’s been a nice day indoors, doing all the things I’ve been wanting to or meaning to for ages. I’m going to Wii Fit (properly), help Mum with the cleaning, go driving later, watch the finale of Avatar… But can I keep it up? Ironically enough, I’ll find out in time.

Bethfish being all busy with work (five days a week, roughly 9am-5pm), I’m pretty much open if anyone wants to do anything. Let me know and I’d be delighted to see you. Catcha later everyone.


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