Deafness

This is just a rant. There is nothing outstandingly intelligent about this entry. I don’t care what you think, I’m writing it.

I find it hard not to hate my brother. Or do I confuse wrath for hate? Certainly he infuriates to the point of violence. If only he weren’t superior to me in every way imaginable I’m sure I’d openly retaliate. Nevertheless, before I went to bed last night, I told him to please keep it down. If I woke up during the night, I’d be screwed for today’s exam. He ignored me for about 10 seconds before looking up, nodding eagerly, and telling me to shut his door. I did, begrudgingly, and hoped he would keep to his word. I prayed for a good night’s sleep. No such luck.

I don’t know how many times I woke up, but it was more than four. Every single time, I woke up to the sounds of my brother’s open door- he can’t be bothered closing it after he leaves and re-enters his room for food. That really annoys me. He can’t close a door- what’s wrong with him? He spent all night (literally) on TeamSpeak, talking, yelling and laughing with his clanmates about God knows what. I specifically told the bastard to keep it down and he leaves his door open. His excuse? (and yes, this is a very blatant example of attempted reader position- you’re supposed to feel sorry for me. I despise myself for being so crude) Dad told him to keep his door open so the heat from the heater could get in more easily. Firstly, like hell Dad would wake up to tell him that. Secondly, why would he consider that one or two degrees difference of heat more important than my Literature Exam?

What’s more is that because he’s still awake, I can’t study. Yeah, great way to spend a 5am before an exam, sitting on your computer bitching about your brother. So I’m going to do the previously inconceivable and set up camp in the living room instead, out in the open and on the way to the kitchen, but for the moment away from my brother. I seriously wish he moved out. Go on, piss off, I don’t want you here. There I said it, but that’s not going to change an awful lot, is it? Rather selfish of me- and knowing Eugene, if he ever read this, he’d stay in the house a few more years (as much as he hates it) just to spite me. He’s the sort of person who slows down when they’re being tailgated. Anyway, better get studying. Need to let go of my emotion to make way for peace.

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