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I have not been having a very good life recently. No, that’s bullshit, I’ve been having a fine life. This week is no different to last, except my mentality. Okay then, well in that case, I’ve been having a desperately negative week. Sure there are plus sides to my day, but all I think of are my incompetencies.

Can’t kick high enough. What’s that? You want to kick higher? You shouldn’t. Kick low until you learn how to kick properly, you noob.
Should do more homework. Huh? Homework? Dude, you should have done it by now. You should already be studying.

In fact, screw the examples, i don’t need them to say this. I’m really dissatisfied with myself, all my accomplishments or whatever. But that’s just me on a bad day. Everything I do is WORTHLESS because it’s not good enough. I am not good enough. I feel wretched, and I know it’s purely psychological, and all I’m doing is encouraging a spiral of endless put-downs and devaluing myself as a human being. Far out, I just feel so pathetic! I suck, and worse, I tell myself I suck! So, THINKING that I suck will never let me do anything other than suck. So here’s what you have to do John. Settle the hell down and take a good long look at yourself, and think real hard about why you’re being such a Negative Nancy™.

Ahhh whatever. The longer I type, the more I rant. The more I rant, the more negative and depressed I make myself, and there’s absolutely no logic in that. I’m going to post this entry now, because I wrote it. I hope that soon I can replace it with something much more… valued.

Love,

John.

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2 thoughts on “/

  1. Anthony says:

    My God…you sure are one pessimistic poor soul. It appears that you do know yourself well and that you think about things a lot. However, the problem is that you think way too much. You should know that dwelling on negative things like your own weaknesses is pointless other than making yourself feel worthless. You are who you are, and there are always things in life that you cannot control. What you can do is get your head out of your ass and realise that you are a talented individual (just like everyone else). And while you cannot run 100 metres in under 10 seconds, kick high (yet) or play the piano brilliantly, you still can do things that others can only dream about doing. 
     
    I feel like you are being close-minded to an extent and only thinking about your immediate life and the problems that surround it. "OMG, I can’t kick high enough!", "Homework sucks", "Waaah, Life sucks and I feel depressed!" blah blah blah. Let me tell you that life is much bigger than your own little world. No one is going to help you if you aren’t willing to help yourself. What are your dreams and goals in life? What do you want to achieve for yourself and others? There is so much out there to experience but you are ignoring to acknowledge it because you feel like you are inferior and worthless.
     
    I also hear you have recently been taking Taekwondo – the purpose of doing something, especially a sport, is to have fun and learn something. I’ll be straight – your attitude towards it and life in general is quite frankly pathetic. I don’t give a shit if you are training 10 times a week or kicking everyday if your attitude is negative. If you can’t kick high enough then set a goal for yourself and think positive. Do some stretching in the morning and before you go to bed if need be but don’t go berating yourself for not being able to do it at first. Know your limits and believe in yourself. The people who achieve things aren’t necessarily the smartest, most athletic, beautiful or popular people (although it does help). They are people with motivation and drive in life. The ones that are willing to put in the hard work and in return they will receive the fruits of their labour. They have a purpose in life. Go find yours…
     
    I myself have experienced a case of depression and family problems and whilst it is not easy you have to get over it and move on. I got out of it by committing myself to cherishing life and exercising when I felt down (endorphins anyone?). And since this will be my last year at school I want to remember it because it was a great time and not a period of sulking and feeling sorry for myself. Later in life (hopefully soon), you will realise what a fool you have been for worrying about petty things such as how you aren’t as good as your brother in piano and not being able to kick high. I bet there are millions of people better than Eugene in the world. How did they get that good? Through a combination of talent but mostly hardwork and dedication.
     
    I once knew a girl in primary school who played the piano magnificently. The first and only time I saw her play I was mesmerized by her skill and passion. She started playing since the age of 3 and practiced everyday to get better. She has now won several piano awards and wants to travel the world as a pianist. Now, it was her choice to play the piano. Not her parents or her peers etc. So what reason did you start playing? If it is something that your parents first introduced to you – ask yourself whether you truly enjoy it? The point is that you should play your own strengths and do what you want to do. Find the reason of why you feel the way you feel now and turn it around.
     
    Lastly, stop feeding your negative mindset by posting crap and ranting on your blog. Trust me…no one really wants to hear it. The only comments you will get will be the ones of sympathy or fake concern from your friends. So what? What good will that do, huh? It will only temporarily comfort your soul and afterwards lead you back into the cycle of despair you have created; and when that despair creeps up again you will post another blog about how your life sucks to continue that cycle.
     
    While I do not know you too well, I have noticed how you have been fairing at school. There are people who do care whether you realise it or not, whether you want their help or not. Turn to your friends for support in the hardest of times and remember that the number of friends you might have is nothing compared to having friends that are there for you when you are in deep shit, feeling down etc. A lot of this may sound cliché, cheesy and God knows what else. Heck, if someone said this to me I would probably think that. Nevertheless, I felt that it needed to be said before you start cutting yourself or something o_O.
     
    You can thank me, hate me or even ignore this whole post but the one thing you must do is change your life so you can achieve that balance which is ‘just right’. Essentially, to be happy really…
     
    Sayonara, Bitch.
     
    P.S – Stop crying over things such as Kakashi sensei doing something cool in Naruto -_-“

  2. Liam, Baron of Hoskuldstadir says:

    Wow who is that!!
     
    also DON’T CLICK ON THE LINK ffs.
     
    With regards to your blog, remember that there are lots of people in the world who have been given less opportunities than you- count your blessings and don’t waste the time that you have- study and work hard, but don’t forget to hone your talents and one day you’ll be awesome (your present awesomeness is a mere antiecho of what could be).

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