I had something really important to say, but I forgot it. I don’t know, I’ve been busy. The Learning Performance Seminar is next week. 6 hours a day, four days, Monday to Thursday. Funny thing is, I went on it just before Year 8, and just before Year 11. I’m going on it again (just before Year 12), just because I like it. That, and we get half price because I’m a patron. If it weren’t for the seminar around the corner, I would go, today, to the local Tae Kwon Do and sign up. For the past few years, I have dreamed of myself in all sorts of scenarios and fights, which is rather stupid on reflection. That isn’t my reason for the desperation that has led me to "I don’t care whether it’s ninjitsu, ju jitsu or tai chi! I just need to start training damnit!" No, I want to learn a martial arts to grow. To be stronger, to be disciplined (for want of a better word). This isn’t exactly coming out right, but I’m not going to be a showoff or some kind of bully. I just want to practice to make myself better, faster, stronger. Key word "better". I want to improve myself, and a martial arts is the greatest thing in the world to me- my heart races every time I step into a dojo to watch. I hope I’m not corrupted by the idea of dominance and power!
But seriously. Every morning when I wake up, and sometimes before I sleep, too, I train. I do push ups, sit ups, squats and stretches. Why? Because I have the faith that it will make me stronger. If I had a chin-up bar, I’d be doing plenty of them. If I had a sparring partner, I would teach myself to fight. I juggle balls, too! Forgot about that. And (stupid as this is), I do the Wii Fitness Test every day. My average is 29.3 years old, but I would be much younger if it weren’t for a few bad days cancelling out a week of good days. Anyway, every single day, I train to better and improve myself physically, in the little ways. Like not needing to sit down, meditating warmth into my body when I think I’m cold, not letting the heat get to me, using chopsticks correctly. The little things. Mentally, well that’s a whole other kettle of fish that needs a lot of attention, but I’m always striving for improvement. I was kind of let down when only two people wrote a comment responding to ways I can better myself, even though I know I have about a dozen readers.
Anyway, thanks for reading. I’ll be busy for a little while, but maybe I’ll have something worth updating soon. Anyway, I promise to investigate the possibility of learning Tae Kwon Do before school starts, and believe me when I say there is no one in that class who will be more dedicated than I am. I can just picture training every day… Mm, yes, I really wish I had an instructor, a sensei, so I could better learn to better myself!
Also, here’s a quiz, because I love them. Read it if you like, I just enjoy filling it out! (stolen off Georgie)
The Honest & Emotion Survey
1. Honestly, what color is your underwear?
2. Honestly, what’s on your mind?
Hm. Another survey! Joy! (PS: Does anyone actually know what type of underwear I have?)
3. Honestly, what are you doing right now?
Laughing at Georgie’s answer. "
Honestly, that’s the stupidest question."
4. Honestly, do you think Johnny Depp is attractive?
Pfft. He was until I found out he turned cannibal for a while.
5. Honestly, have you had your heart broken?
Yes, I have.
6. Honestly, have you done something bad today?
Ahh, yes I guess. I was watching Naruto (my favourite anime?) and then the household woke up. Eugene was playing the piano, I turned up the volume. Mum stood in front of me to tell me to eat breakfast, I leaned to the side to see past her. But Naruto’s just so cool, why do people disrupt it for me? ='(
7. Honestly, do you watch disney channel?
I wish I had the Disney channel to watch. And enough time to watch it.
8. Honestly, who is the last person you talked to on the phone?
Ah, Mum I think.
9. Honestly, are you jealous of someone right now?
Not jealous, no.
10. Honestly, what makes you mad most of the time?
My own idiocy and impulsiveness. I’ve done a lot of things I regret, but have learned from.
12. Honestly, are you straight?
13. Honestly, do you want to see someone this very moment?
Hm. I’d like to see a few people, but I do admit that there was no one in particular I was wanting to see at that very moment.
14. Honestly, do you have a deep dark secret?
It’s not exactly deep, and it’s not exactly dark, but God help you Georgie if you ever tell anyone.
15. Honestly, do you have a friend you don’t actually like?
17. Honestly, are you in denial?
I usually am, but it feels good to accept things.
18. Honestly, do you like someone?
You know. I wish I did. But I’ve only ever been in love once.
20. Honestly, does anyone like you?
Lol Pink Jacket, aka Yellow Shirt, aka Bitch in the Yellow Shirt probably doesn’t anymore. She was tailing me when we went ice skating and hit me with a snowball. Everyone glared at her and she gave us the finger. I felt so awful!
DIFFERENT EMOTIONS SURVEY
1. What do you do when you’re mad?
Stop functioning socially. I don’t talk much, and when I do I pretend nothing’s wrong. Of course, it’s so obvious that something *is* wrong there’s really no point to pretending. Then I’ll try my best to recall my happiest memories, and I’ll get all cheery again!
2. What’s the worst thing you’ve done when you were mad?
I threw my tennis raquet in Year 8 when I got mad about sucking so much. I still suck, but I accept it now. Oh, I guess I also put a small dent in the wall with my knuckle. Yes, I bruised my knuckle as a result, but I couldn’t feel the pain until the morning after. I also grabbed someone by the throat once… Wow, I’m actually quite aggro… I’m worried for myself now.
3. Ever made anyone cry when you were mad?
4. Do you swear when your mad?
1. When was the last time you really cried?
Really cried or just cried cried? Because I cried yesterday watching Yu-Gi-Oh. Shut up. It was powerful. Cliché bull as it was, I was moved by strength through unity. Yeah I’m over emotional.
2. Ever cried yourself to sleep?
3. Do certain songs make you cry?
Not exactly. Some make me angry, some make me mellow, some make me sad.
4. What usually makes you cry?
Ha, name something and I can cry at it. Just silly things (silly? What? I’ve turned into a 13yo girl?) like anime, movies or songs.
1. Are you usually a happy person?
I think so!
2. What can make you happy?
Lol Georgie, OJ. Nice one. Um, friends! And anime/manga.
4. Do you believe in yourself?
Yep, sure do. If you don’t, you’ll never get anywhere!
5. When people say they think you are good looking/pretty, do you get happy?
I’m flattered, not sure whether to believe them or not, but sort of drift around in a haze of elation while I reply the compliment over and over in my mind.