Oi, we don’t speak that lingo ‘ere, mate!

Matto-san teaches me Japanese (the language)… Pfft, I just wrote "the language", backspaced a few times, then re-wrote it to show you I wrote it. All this multilinguism is getting to my head. Nihongo = Japanese language. Nihonjin = Japanese person. Nihon-syoku = Japanese food et cetera. Anyway, Matt teaches me Japanese (the language). Although its main practical uses are limited to cool conversations and snatches of anime/video games, Matthew and I decided to test our (or rather, his) cool under pressure.

"Sumimasen!" ‘Oh God,’ I was thinking. Like seriously, I spent ten minutes giggling childishly over how hard it was to say that one word. All it means is, ‘Excuse me!’ Anyway, the waitress comes over.
"Tori-niku… Ahh… I’ve already forgotten!"
"No…" Matt urged from behind. The waitress laughed.
"Tori-niku no udon, kudasai," I said at last. Then she said something that I had absolutely no concept of, and Matt leapt in and saved the day like a true Nihonjin.
Oh, by the way. That means, ‘Please give me the chicken udon.’ Then Matt just kicked me in the nuts by having a conversation with her and asking if they had tori-niku no katsu – chicken katsu. She suggested something else, Matt asked about it and agreed. I swear, he may as well have been stroking a long white beard while he was at it. She bowed her head- just a little- and Matto-san thanked her "Domo"- thanks. As soon as she took two steps away, he clenched his hands into balls and tucked in his forearms and squealed. Like, squealed. Imagine giving a four-year-old a massive cuddly teddybear and make the noise she emits go for 5 seconds straight. I tapped Matt on the shoulder and nudged my head to the waitress, who was still standing a meter away from him. He curled up into a ball and died.

Seriously though, it was incredible fun! Matt agreed in saying that it was a most memorable experience. Even simple things like, "Can I have somemore water please?" is enormously fun to say. Man, I’ll be back some day- just you wait! And I’ll bring the squealing Japanese four-year-old that would make the perfect anime character, too. Ahh sweet nightingale!


3 thoughts on “Oi, we don’t speak that lingo ‘ere, mate!

  1. Liam, Baron of Hoskuldstadir says:

    I would HAVE to be with Matt in Japan, otherwise I would be resigned to a holiday of staring blankly at the moving mouths of Japanese people, shaking my head in despair and frantically fingering through a phrasebook to say a phrase clumsily and incorrectly. This is why I am of the constant opinion that one needs to learn basic phrases in a language before they travel there, thus ensuring that basic comprehension is going to happen. More than all, however, learning and speaking a language other than English has always been cosmic fun for me, especially when that moment happens when you realise that you are in fluent conversation with someone in a language other than that with which you’re most accustomed. It happened to me in Spain and was the most incredible rush.
    People in Australia don’t learn enough languages. We’re the closest continent in the world to Asia and yet no one (except John, Matt and I it seems) seems to be interested in learning an Asian language, whether it be Japanese or Chinese.
    PS. Chinese is my favourite language followed by English then Spanish. Not only does Chinese sound incendiary when spoken fluently but it has the most artistic written language in the world.

  2. Korelee says:

    Or perhaps others don’t have the time/want/or ability to learn another language?

  3. Matt says:

    JONO-SAN!!!! Your words made me gazm just thinking about that day. You see, I attended Jaws again with the biggest "westerner" in the world. Mr Liam Blackford! I have to say, my experience at Jaws was no way met by Liam as it was by you Jono-san. So, i hope to meet again there to enjoy the waitress’ voices, and to squeal *clenches my hands into balls and tuckes in my forearms* "IIIIIIIIIIIII" Hahaha.Enjoy your holidays Jono-san!P.S. Quote: "Nihongo = Japanese language. Nihonjin = Japanese person. Nihon-syoku = Japanese food" Jono-san???? What is "SYOKU"??????? Ive never heard that word before. Hahaha. Japanese food = Nihon no Tabemono. Demo, anata wa nihongo ga yoku hanashimasu! = However, you speak japanese well! Ja, Sayounara!

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