Consternation, Be Thine Dust


I think so much I never do. I spend so much of my time
wondering and thinking and writing down my thoughts so I don’t forget them. It’s
paralyzing me.

I had a good long talk with Ala about why Mum is so protective. Why she nags and tends to be a social killjoy and the likes. Why she presses Eugene and why she pushes me. It’s
because any mother can see her child’s potential, and if they are not reaching
that potential, they are wasting their life. What parent would want to see
their son or daughter waste away when they could be on top of the pyramid?

If I was a father and my son wasn’t working, I would find
out why and I would try to change his mind. I would find the spark to make him
realise what I realise now- that it’s important to get somewhere. I need to get
somewhere. Where isn’t important right now, but I shouldn’t let indecision stop
me from doing well at school. I can’t just say “I won’t need chemistry so it doesn’t
matter if I don’t do well in it.” I should achieve my potential in everything I
do- that’s what it means to live life to the fullest. I can stop philosophizing
about the simple life being the best- the man enjoying the sunshine may be
happy, but he’s certainly not going anywhere or living life to the fullest. I
have to work hard, both to please my parents, and to earn my life. I can’t rationalize
being slack, lazy or justify my procrastination.

With this realisation, I leave you. I have things to study,
work to do, stories to write, places to be, life to live. I think it’s about
time I got started.



PS: Liam, you belong to the same class of intelligentsia as
Lex Luthor from Superman. Your potential was enormous from youth and the sky’s
the limit for you. No, not even. The furthest reaches of space are in your
grasp. Solomon, Derrick, although I don’t know you well, I think that goes for
you too. Ivy, you’re ahead of the pack. Anyone else I missed, don’t take it to
heart. You know your own potential- it’s a notch higher than you’re currently


2 thoughts on “Consternation, Be Thine Dust

  1. Beth says:

    Xin you say that to a simple man that the simple sunshine makes him happy but he is not living life to the fullest. I disagree. To each person the definition of living their life to the fullest is different. Just becuase you haven’t got the best grades, or the best house or what ever doesn’t mean your not living life to the fullest. I firmly believe that if you are happy doing what your doing, living where your living etc then you are. You can’t say that if you haven’t sky dived, or havent climbed mount everest that you haven’t lived a fulfilling life. Different things make up a fufilling life. To one person making a difference to the poor of the world makes their life fulflilled. To a teacher watching a child eagerly learning could make them feel that they are achieving something. I don’t think that the amount of "things" a person owns, or has done (ie skydiving) make up a fulfilling life. I think that the little things, the seemingly insignficant selfless gestures that measure the goodness of the human heart measure the "fulfillment" of life. I haven’t done so much that I would like to do but there is alot I have, there are many people I’ve been able to make a difference for or too in my lifetime and if I died tomorrow I wouldn’t say that I’d lived an unfulfilling life.

  2. John says:

    In that case my definition of "living life to the full" is quite different from yours, Elinor my dear. Reach for the stars, and when you grasp them, keep on reaching.

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