Secondly, this is a decision that has affected most of my life. I cannot do extreme sports or even heavy martial arts because my heart will start racing and it will take great effort to control. I do not want to die of heart failure, although that would be pretty poetic. Heh, I can think of many poetic ways to die, but that’s one of the neatest, and it doesn’t require murder. Anyway, I may never know my full potential because my heart will not sustain me. I will never know how far and fast I can run because I’ll have to stop if I want to live. Which reminds me, Eugene wrote a story about a sick boy who loved running. He pursuaded his parents to let him run a race as a fundraiser for leukemia, and he died at the finish. Now THAT’S a poetic death. What is it with me and poetic deaths all of a sudden? Oh well, if you’re going to die, make it a good death. ANYWAY, on to less morbid and slightly more emo things.
I think males have a better way of dealing with emotions. We pretend they don’t affect us, and we certainly don’t cry. We learn to be callous to anything (feelings) that could cause complications, and we just don’t care what a lot of people think. Unfortunately, I have mastered none of these qualities.
I do not want to be like Eugene. He pulls it off somehow, but I doubt if my abilities rival his. He can spend 13 days relaxing and the day before an exam, he can study. He can study and study and study for hours, and somehow cram everything into his brain. He’ll get about 80% on a test. This method is reliable for him, but dangerous for me. It’s so unorganised and leaves everything on having that spare time to cram. I don’t want to follow in his footsteps. I’m willing to put in the effort to study. Unfortunately, these weblog entries are taking longer than I thought, and I have an economics test tomorrow that I really want to do well in.
"Unfortunately, for every mark above the average score, there is one to cancel it out."
How true is that, hey? Unfortunately, more often than not, I’m the one dragging the average down. Hiss.
I have to start taking charge of things with this newfound freedom I have. As you can tell, it’s not going so well, being 9:15 on a Sunday night. I’m in a work mood, and I consider all this typing a decent amount of work. Do forgive me for preferring this over human biology. Anyway, my point is, now that no one is telling me how to spare my time, I must learn to organise it properly. I MUST learn to stay away from things that aren’t productive. Id est (ie), MSN and video games. I am proud to say I haven’t played any games this weekend, and I’ve been working pretty much flat out, save for the occasional weblog entry :P Point is, I have to organise my own wellbeing, productivity, and the balanced, enjoyable life.
My dad said the best quote the other day. I’ll paraphrase it a little, but it went like this.
"People are like confetti: the wind blows them this way, and there they all go, but they all come under the broom in the end."
I forgot what the broom is a metaphor for, but it was a good one.
Oo! I have another story for you. You’ve been doing a lot of reading. Congratulations for keeping up this far.