Quotes

All right! Get ready for a big read. This is the first in a string of
weblog entries I need to publish, and I must type quickly because my
tutor is due in about 10 minutes. I haven’t had lunch, but I don’t mind
being hungry; millions of people are suffering from chronic hunger
every day of their lives, but we’ll leave that for another blog update.

To start, here’s a useless string of quotes.

***

Mrs Savvy-Walsh: "Semen!"
Class: "Hooray!"
Savvy-Walsh: "Boring, boring, boring. You guys think you’re so wonderful for making this stuff."

On
that note, Savvy-Walsh has an incredible ability to put you off things.
I do not like oranges, apples, pears or sex. You heard me correctly. I
do not want to have sex, because of a wonderful story she told us about
the pain of a female circumcision. It’s just put me right off vaginas
for a while. Gee, thanks Miss.

EDIT: A female circumcision from the culture I heard about (somewhere
in Africa) is where a gypsy lady with a razor saws off the labia of the
vagina. She removes as much flesh as she can and sews the orifice
together to ensure her future husband that she is a virgin. Two tiny
holes are left for menstruation and urine to trickle through, literally
drop by drop. Savvy-Walsh read out part of a book that was written by a
woman who endured such a ritual. It ruined her life, clearly.

***

"Aaron. Aaron! Youv’e been yellow carded. No more anti-Docker talk."
(Dockers
are a football team Mr Allanson loves. Apparently the yellow-card thing
was hilarious because Mr Allanson didn’t know what it meant. He later
spent 15 minutes in the photocopy room and returned with a piece of
cardboard that had been laminated or stuck together somehow. Yellow on
one side, pink on the other. He awarded this to everybody he could.)

***

Oo, oo. This one’s a joke. A very sexist joke. Brace yourselves.

Q: What’s the difference between a woman and a wombat?
A: The n!

For those of you who haven’t heard, there are feminists ways of spelling ‘woman’.
Womyn, womban, wom!n, wimmin = women.
Womon = woman.
Humyn = Human
Femal = Female

They’re
taking the men out of womyn. Isn’t that delectable? I exercise the use
of these alternate spellings as often as I can. Of course, it’s only a
matter of time until people realise this and label me as a blood
traitor to man-kind.

***

"Keeping in mind… You’re a dog!"
-Jacob Moffit, trying to explain organic chemistry to me.

***

Showing
off m memory in maths class, I took Stephen Dale’s calculator and typed
in "3.14159265359 = pi". He shook his head and took it back. A moment
later, he tapped on his desk to signal me to turn around. The display
read "u = pi", u here having the pi symbol. My computer doesn’t seem to
have it, and I’ve not the time to look.

***

"Tim, what note is this?"
"Er…
A?" I heart a scrunch of paper and looked up. Doc held his copy of the
music test in his tensed fist and looked strangled.
"What?!" He karate chopped the piano, hitting G.
"Er, C?" The look on Doc’s face made my soul cringe.

***

"Boys, you’re never going to guess what you have to do. Daniel, take a stab."
"Work. Questions… read?"
"I went to university for four years to come up with that lesson plan and Daniel got it just like that. Sensational."
-Mr Allanson.

***

"Would you like a book Elliot?"
"Yes please."
"Just make sure you return it. Not like that copy of ‘Brokeback Mountain‘. Never returned."

(He
says that a lot. It’s the Spice Girls Movie, Paris Hilton, or some
other Barney movie of some sort, but he always seems to lend us his
personal belongings =))

***

"Simon, I think you need a licence to be that annoying. I think you need to go out there and get one."
"Where did you get yours sir?" Everyone’s eyes widened. There was silence for a moment.
"I got mine off the back of a Wheaties packet." Everyone groaned.
"Sir! It was getting into a good argument until you said that!"

Simon
Brown has taken a rebellious stab at every single teacher and student
in the school. I don’t know why, but in his quest to discover his views
on the world, he has taken a crack at everyone else’s.

***

Mr
Allanson: "I’m on fire!" Stephen and I were the only ones sitting close
enough to hear, but we both laughed. He’s an interesting man, and
apparently enjoys reflecting upon his victories.

***

Serious one now.

"I did this girl on the beach. It’s the rankest thing ever… I had to take her into the water because it was so sandy."

It’s
when you hear things like that, you feel both angry and sad. That was
Aaron Jenkins speaking, an alleged homosexual. He smokes, does ballet,
has an earring and is a general asshole to everyone. He’s kinda cool in
some ways, but they do not cancel out his attitude. And just casually
bragging about having sex to an apparent random girl? Worse is that
those he was talking to (names not mentioned) were people I formerly
respected. I say formerly because they laughed and questioned him about
it.

It is a sad, sad thing when what was once the sacred act of
sexual union has been turned into something guys can boast about. I
felt so angry at him, and then so sad at those who laughed. Stupid
idiots. That said, from the sound of things AJ is going to spend the
rest of his life trying to get laid, because that seems to be all he’s
enjoying in life. There’s no security, no comfort, nothing he can enjoy
except the rawest of pleasures. That quote from Frankenstein describes
it well.
"So much does suffering blunt even the coarsest sensations of men."

I
feel sorry for the next generation. We’re bad enough as it is, but what
will our children be like when even half the adults are promoting
promiscuity?

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4 thoughts on “Quotes

  1. Ivy says:

    Don’t be dumb.
    You men have always been degrading sex. What sexual union?
    Chauvanists have been priding themselves over scoring chicks for centuries.
    Sad, but that’s men for you.
     
    Woooo I lubbs sex!
    Eventually, they all settle down anyway. You just settled down abiiiit faster.
    No fun (x
    *poke* You’re lying when you say you don’t like sex. Look at who you’re talking to. Anyway, what’s female circumision? We don’t even have foreskin! *cough*
     
    Okay I’m leaving this topic.
    Don’t be a prude John, life is wonderful. Stop saying it’s dull and get out there and enjoy it, for goodness’s sake.

  2. Derrick says:

    haha well, if everyone settles down after a while, i’d say john here’s gonna have lots more experience at that in a few decade’s time. besides the female variant of that particular ritual is practiced in some religions, and its similar to the male one only in name. and the fact that it involves the removal of some parts of australia.i have to get a mr. allanson as one of my teachers one day. or at least meet the one you’ve got in your school. i think he and a group of friends i have (and a few teachers, actually) would get along wonderfully.by the way, go read "The Sorrows of Young Werther", written by a wonderful German gentleman named Goethe. If you can, find the Signet Classics edition, translated by Catherine Hutter.

  3. Korelee says:

    I think I agree with Ivy on this one. But then, a bit different in my ways considering you know about my future job and all that kind of stuff. I think you would know what I would say to you on the sex part.
     
     
    And secondly, people are only suffering from hunger and such because of people like you who continuously complain about it and make comments on it, but don’t really seem to do things about it.

  4. Georgie says:

    We really didnt need to know about the female circumsisioun thing.  That AJ dude won’t be enjoy sex for very long if he just does it so randomly with people he hardly know he’ll just end up with aids and thats the punishment for immorality.
     
    I don’t think you can say you dislike sex if you havn’t experienced it yet (SHUT DOWN!) do you honestly think you won’t enjoy it when you do it with the one you love one day???
     
     

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