I have a music lesson tomorrow, one of my only chances at playing it together with Perry. I am going to fail.
I really wanted to get up there at Speech Night, walk on stage and bow proudly. I had already begun to imagine what sort of reactions I’d get, and who I’d invite. But from the looks of things, I have 11 days to fulfil that dream, and the stress is preventing me from learning while I’m practicing. I tried to play along with a CD, and got hammered. I don’t think I can do it.
I am now hit with two mentalities. The one which I tell to everyone else, "Nothing is impossible if you really want it," and the one that I’m telling to myself, "You’re not going to pull it off, John old boy." I don’t know what to do. Giving up seems so easy, but then, what do I gain from failing? Damnit, I need to practice… I don’t know how I can do this. My fault for not practicing in the first place. Gaaaah.