Do any of you remember Jupiter, Bringer of Jolity? A duet with Perry Joyce played on two pianos. Yeah I’m still doing it. I wasn’t replaced afterall, and it’s too late now, because I just got a letter saying our performance is in 11 days. 11 days to master a song, my God. Perry and I haven’t practiced it more than half a dozen times, and we need to master our individual parts (26 pages if you’ll kindly remember) and then stick it together and hope it’s perfect.

I have a music lesson tomorrow, one of my only chances at playing it together with Perry. I am going to fail.

I really wanted to get up there at Speech Night, walk on stage and bow proudly. I had already begun to imagine what sort of reactions I’d get, and who I’d invite. But from the looks of things, I have 11 days to fulfil that dream, and the stress is preventing me from learning while I’m practicing. I tried to play along with a CD, and got hammered. I don’t think I can do it.

I am now hit with two mentalities. The one which I tell to everyone else, "Nothing is impossible if you really want it," and the one that I’m telling to myself, "You’re not going to pull it off, John old boy." I don’t know what to do. Giving up seems so easy, but then, what do I gain from failing? Damnit, I need to practice… I don’t know how I can do this. My fault for not practicing in the first place. Gaaaah.

=Xin- DOOM-ED=



  1. Beth says:

    You can do it John. If you really want something you can do it. Even if it means *sigh* that you can’t rp. That’s a price we’ll all have to sacrifice.

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