Anti-Valentines Day

A lot of posts this morning. Well, it’s afternoon now. And to think, all I’ve been doing for the past three hours is a blog entry or two, and looking up words in the dictionary. I’ve added like, 50 words to the list. I don’t know why I’m working so slowly, or whether it’s some external factor. Like the cold. My hands are cold. My typing rate has almost halved, my writing rate most definitely. Anyways, this guy is my new idol. I almost worship his philosophies. He only goes by one name: Azrael. A black, male English-teacher who lives in Japan and puts up with highschool students trying to jam their fingers up his ass and feeling his ‘manhood’. His editorials can be found here, but this one I feel I must share with the world. Protest all you like, but deep down inside, you know he’s right.



Anti-Valentines Day

By: Azrael

Okay, so I go to my local Safeway to pick up my usual gallon of iced
tea (good shit) and as soon as I cross the threshold to the door, my
eyes are assualted by more pink shit than a flamingo convention at
RuPaul’s house. A trip to Target yields the same. It must be that time
of year again.

Valentines Day.

This "holiday" is the most bullshit day on the calendar.
Regardless of whether or not you have someone. If you don’t, this day
only serves as a blinding reminder that you don’t. Even if you don’t
want a relationship, this day is trying to tell you otherwise. "Come to
the dark side." It whispers in your ear. "Better than Krispy Kremes."

The whole day only emphasizes all the "good" things about a
relationship, completely ignoring that most real relationships take a
good deal of committment, sometimes work, and aren’t always rosy. Oh,
and let’s not forget the monumental amount of effort it takes to even
get in a relationship. Please, let’s not forget that. In the end,
you’re left with a steaming, sugary pile of sappy shit that would give
even Willy Wonka cavities. And you just can’t escape it, not with pink
cards plastered over every grocery and drug store you go to, flower
bouquets everywhere, and Julia Roberts movies on TV (that alone should
be enough to outlaw this day).

If you do have someone, this is a fabricated day in which you
basically have to prove your love. How many of you committed guys are
already planning what you’re going to do for V-Day? Show of hands? All?
Yes, that’s about right. Of course you are. You can sit back and tell
your honey "you know I love you sweetie, but I don’t think we need a
Hallmark-manufactured day to prove that. Let’s stay at home and watch a
movie", and see how fast your ass lands on the couch tonight.

Even if both parties don’t particularly feel obligated to do
something, social pressure may demand otherwise. I’m sure no lady wants
to hear all her friends gabbing about the extravagant/expensive things
their boyfriends/husbands did for them, while the best she can do was a
night of Star Trek repeats on TNN. And the fellas may feel compelled to
keep up when they hear about all the plans their buddies are making for
their girls. I see it all the time, a guy has a nice, simple evening
planned, hears about his buddies plan to rent the fuckin’ Space Needle
for 3 hours, then feels compelled to upgrade.

Oh, and while I’m thinking about it, why is it usually the guys
springing for V-Day crap? Sure, the girls might get the guy something,
but if you see a couple out on That Non-Holiday eating at a fancy
restaurant, taking a horse-carried carriage ride through the park, or
jacking some guy’s ride (V-Day in the projects) you can bet it’s coming
out of the guy’s pocket (hey, guns/crowbars aren’t cheap nowadays).
Where’s the equality?

Whatever ass-over-head efforts you expel to get some on V-Day,
could have just as easily been gotten by bringing her a rose and a
cheezy compliment. Far less cheaper.

And it’s not even a birthday, or anniversary. It’s not even a
holiday. You don’t even get a day off anywhere. It’s just a cheesy day
which is "recognized" to be a day of love, and has somehow wormed it’s
way onto our calendars and datebooks. It’s silly.

I’d love to completely ignore this Non-Holiday, but you can’t.
Unless you hole yourself up in your room, shut the door, close the
blinds, and immerse yourself in a good book (…which doesn’t sound
like a bad idea think to come of it…) it’s everywhere. Turn on the TV
and there it is. Turn on the radio, there it is. Oh, and those annoying
high school-ish dedications…does that make anyone else want to reach
through the radio and beat their throats with pineapples? Go outside,
and there it is. It’s not like I can go into my Safeway and see Abraham
Lincoln plastered all over the aisles for Presidents Day. And hell, at
least you get the damned day off!

So you either do the bullshit V-Day activities, or you’re
forced to have a guys/girls night out, which is ultimately more cash
you’re spending, needlessly. Or you go to a party, which is really just
a desperate last attempt to get some tail in order to feel somewhat
loved. This is seriously the worst day of the year.

So I’m taking a stand against V-Day. If you plan on buying the
roses, the expensive dates, the jewelry, renting Michael Bolton for a
few hours (I hear he’s available), reserving your Mile High Club
tickets, or whatever, take that lovey shit somewhere else. I for one
will not buy into this bullshit day. So I ask you, the sane and
rational readers of this site, and hopefully the future leaders of
tomorrow, to join me in my crusade against Valentines Day.

Do it for the children.


2 thoughts on “Anti-Valentines Day

  1. Korelee says:

    Sorry, but I really don’t agree with this guy and I’ve never had a boyfriend on Saint Valentine’s Day, save once and I’d only been going out with him for a day, and I would have preferred it if he hadn’t.
    I’ll admit that Saint Valentine’s Day does give people alot of pressure, and it can be a very bad day for some people. But that is only because they choose to look at it as a fabricated day, when instead it is a Saint’s day.
    Saint Valentine’s Day has been majorly blown out of proportion, but people continue to view the day in this way, instead of considering what else it is about. It is your choice to view the day in whichever way you like, and so this person is just continuing to complain about something, instead of fixing it. Isn’t that against your rules somewhere Xin-san?
    Saint Valentine was a man, a priest I believe, who married two people together against the will of everybody else. Saint Valentine’s Day is for him, and is also a day for lovers to exist happily together, with society no matter what their status is, or anything otherwise.
    And just a note for everyone. It’s Saint Valentine’s Day, not Valentine’s Day. Maybe somebody should do some good and inform the writer of that article.

  2. Pat. says:

    I totally agree with the concept of Valentine’s day being blown out of proportion, and yes it does kind of degrades those who are single, but this is irrelevent. I agree with persephone here. It’s saint Valentine’s day, a feast day of a saint. Without a man such as him, we wouldn’t have this day. I think it’s important that we should have a day focused on love (which should be everyday) but its a person’s own decision as to whether or not they wanted to confrom to the Hallmark-esque ‘cover’ thrown over religion for coorperate profit. In other words, you dont have to say ‘oh, let’s celebrate the day, therefore we’re going to buy as much as possible for our loved ones’. It just doesn’t work that way. It’s in my best opinion, therefore, I would rather celebrate this religiously and go to mass. Because hey, that’s what it’s there for.
    Cheers out mate.

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