At times, I truly do despise my bigger brother, Panda, aka His Lordship (seriously, that’s a nickname of his relating to his account in RuneScape), aka Agent Quicksilver (he once considered himself an elite spy), aka Eugene.


After much wailing not so long ago, he convinced me to watch The Ring, even though I swore I would never. Truth be told, it wasn’t half as bad as I thought it would be. It wasn’t even a quater as bad as I thought it would be. If Pete stayed up until 3am, scared of his television until then, well… different perceptions, I suppose. At any rate, he got me to watch it by paying me 60 cents per minute. A good deal, I know. I got $61.20 at the end of the movie. Of course, being my brother, he was most distressed by the fact he owed me more than $200 at the time.


Today, he got his vengeance, showing his vindictive side. Firstly, he started small. He displaced my bookmark. Psht, yeah, like that did a lot. Idiot. Then, he took another step. He criticised Inuyasha, while I was watching it. What’s more, is that he’s forever ruined it for me. In response to Ivy, she’s correct in every way, except if all of it is the same, and you love one, you love all. I happen to be an anime fan. Then Eugene took another step after I turned off the TV, grumbling, but happy, knowing I could watch it when he was sleeping.


Turning to the computer, I logged into Tactic’s Core- an online game I thoroughly enjoy playing. I went to the kitchen for one reason or another, and when I got back, Eugene had gotten to his feet. He gave me that look that said "I know what I’m about to do is wrong, but it’s going to be fun to piss other people off," and in defense, I dove for the keyboard and locked the computer, just as he attempted to mash all the buttons in. He laughed and settled down, waiting for me to unlock it. There was nothing I could do, so I shut it down, grabbed my book (and the bookmark lying next to it) and ran to my room, locking the door.


Calling to me through the door, he threatened to draw on the pages of the Chronicles of Narnia- one of the few items in the household which I have idolised. I howled, and turned it into a scream to which Mum responded. She told me off for yelling and said Eugene wouldn’t do anything of the sort. I hissed back at her insistently, and she whispered in my ear she’d buy me another one if she did. Simmering, but not boiling, I returned to my room to meditate and release some of the negative qi.


About a minute later, he gave another playful call, telling me he had some things I might be interested in buying. After I could no longer ignore it, and expecting the worst, I went to check. He gestured, and in front of me, just out of reach (for it’s forbidden to enter one another’s room without permission- I at least will honour that even if he does not) was the Legend of Zelda, Ocarina of Time, Starfox Adventures, my Narnia book, and my glasses. I screamed again, longer and louder and far more vociferous than what he had seen previously. He had become vindictive, and I greeted him in kind belligerently.


For a moment, I pleaded. When it became clear he would accept nothing but money, I narrowed my eyes and scanned his room for things I could use to bargain with. I came up with the brilliant idea that I would steal all his panda posters and merchandise, and burn everything. I strode down the corridor and into the living room, screaming all the while until  I realised it wouldn’t do. In hysterics, I realised I didn’t need the piano to live happily- I could smash it to pieces and it would hurt Eugene many times more than it would hurt any of the rest of us. Mum was quick to stop me.


After much coaxing, I agreed to buy everything back for $62, which Mum promised she would pay me. I reasoned it was better to have the money in cash than for Eugene to scam it out of me some other way, though I felt guilty for robbing my own mother.


At any rate, violence begetted violence, and I’m smart enough not to continue the feud. One day, I know that I will punch Eugene in the face. I have come closer and closer during out episodes, and sooner or later, I will not be able to stop myself from trying to kill him. It’s nice to have a way to take out your anger, even if it’s on your 18 year old brother, more than twice as strong as you. Ah well. If I go to hospital, he will be blamed. Either way, I have some compensation for the next thing he does against me.

"Vengeance is a dangerous thing. So tempting when you see it. So sweet when you seek it. So very deadly when it’s yours." Anon.

2 thoughts on “Revenge

  1. Beth says:

    My lord the answer is simple. Buy a deadbolt.

  2. Matthew says:

    Your parents clearly lack the power to restrain him, so you need to take those steps you can to minimise the impact of his existence.Arrange, like Kitty said, to get a lock. Locks are very handy things. Keep all your stuff in your room.And don’t let anything he says get to you. Recall a Chopin piano solo or whatever your flavour is, anything that gets your head away from his presence.Regards,The Captain.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s