Laser Corps.

Today, Eugene celebrated his 18th at laser corps- open field laser tag. They gave you full body army camoflage, which surprised me by actually working. You were sort of overlooked if you were hiding properly. They also gave us green and brown face paint, and Eugene grabbed me and smooshed it all over my cheeks, being stronger than me. That in itself was fun though.
The field itself was impressive- long grass on hills which you could lie in and be completely invisible. Countless barricades to take cover behind. A foxhole- sandbags and wooden structures lining a pit. No real trenches as such. Huts and shacks and shelter things to control. 500 square metres in which to battle.
There were three targets. One on the front of your head, one on the back of your head, and one on your gun. The only way to differentiate the teams was by their hat- either a swag hat or a cap. There were four types of guns. The small assault rifle, with a reasonable magazine but poor range. The larger version, same deal, longer range. A different type altogether (which I chose) that said "Lock and load" when it was turned on- just a big old chunky gun that shot a lot of bullets. The fourth was a sniper rifle (with actual scope), including rapid fire capabilities, and a grenade launcher if you managed to get within 5 metres of the target. It was a widespread attack and would wipe out everyone in front of you. That was the gun Chazwozzer told me to get. Unfortunately, I later suffered for my stupidity with the lack of range.
Basic rules were this. You start with 7 lives, you have 10 clips of ammo with about 50 bullets per clip. The gun had two standard buttons (with the exception of the sniper rifle, which could use eight grenades); switching between single shot and rapid fire, and reload. The reload took anywhere from 10 to 30 seconds, leaving you quite vulnerable in a fight.
The first game was a death match- getting used to the guns, how they work, the range, the tactics, the terrain. Unfortunately, I got slaughtered because of a dodgy defence, and not realising that I couldn’t snipe people- the range on the guns was more pitiful than I thought. 60 metres. We lost that one.
The second game was capture the flag. We have one shack with a flag in front of it. They have one on the opposite side of the field, across or around the creek. Our side of the field was uphill, looking down on theirs. We had the advantage, but we didn’t take advantage of it. We sent out squadrons of attack teams, all of which came back dead. Our small shack was quickly surrounded, and Herarn and I (who were defending it) got 0wned.
The third game was another session of capture the flag, with the bases reversed. I switched guns with Joseph Mullaney, so I had an assault rifle that could shoot farther and was easier to handle- not quite as big, or heavy. This time, I took a more practical approach, and sprinted out across the middle of the field with Captain Wildflame in order to seize the fort in the middle. We had complete control for a while, but they managed to get snipers up there to shoot us, and eventually, we lost too many lives. When I had three left, I said goodbye to Matthew, and Tony (who had joined us), and just ran off into the bush. They shot at me as I ran madly, but I got to shelter, and was in enemy territory. No one noticed me except Eugene, who was sitting on his fat ass in the fort behind his flag.
Taking cover behind a large tree, I engaged in a duel with my older, fatter brother, and of course kicked his ass. Then I saw Gerald walking on the top of the hill, and opened fire on him instead. He didn’t see me until he had lost a few lives, and then I had to shfit to an akward position behind the tree that protected me from both Eugene and Geralds attacks, for they were about ninety degrees apart. I decided I would much rather take out Eugene, but he was spitting bullets at me, and after I got down to my last life, I decided it wasn’t worth it. At that moment in time, a third team member joined the two that were already firing from me, making it impossible to hide behind the tree from any angle. I returned to base sullenly.
With a new set of lives, I ran to the most unsuspecting of places- a bush to the far left of the field. Our flag was directly in front of me, along with the barricades that littered the grass. Anyone approaching would be shot- and it worked, too. Until they discovered where I was and I had to take shelter in another nearby hut. I peered out the window every once in a while to see if our flag was still standing, and after about five minutes of waiting, I noticed something strange.
Everyone from the enemy team that had died (and hadn’t had the chance to respawn) had walked up to our cabin and were having general conversation with the occupants. It seemed everyone on my team was dead. Perhaps they had forgotten about me? I blinked for a moment then stepped out, asking if it was over. Matthew looked at me and shook his head sadly- the rules stated that the dead men couldn’t communicate with the living, and that was all I needed. I was responded with a stream of gunfire, and dived behind a barricade, now on my last life. Honestly… The idiocy.
Gerald ran around, hoping to catch me with his rapidfire, but I was slightly more accurate and took his last life before he got mine. I leaned around the barricade and shot wildly at everyone, but all of them seemed to be dead. Damnit, why didn’t they stay out of the way? Long Li jumped out from behind them and boom. Game over.
The fourth game was a Sniper round. There were three snipers that had camped somewhere on the field, their guns now only able to shoot one bullet every three seconds. They had ten lives. The other 12 of us had 3 lives, and needed to take out the snipers by sheer force of numbers. There was a catch to the game- a traitor was amongst our midst. He would shoot us in the back when we weren’t watching. We came up with the idea to split into threes, so the traitor would be outnumbered.
As we lined up, our backs turned to the field and the snipers in position, he blew the whistle and the game began. Immediately, a cry of pain sounded from someone’s gun, indicating they’d been hit. Swearing wildly, all of us scattered and dashed for cover. Wildflame ran straight up the field and into the fortress we had previously manned. I looked around, grinned to myself, and shot off after him. If I was going to die, I would do  it bring the biggest moron I can, just to put them off for a while.
Surprisingly, I made it over the one hundred meter dash without harm. Crouching in the fort with Wildflame lying across the ground and peering out through observation holes, my gun suddenly cried out. "Wasn’t me," said Matt, looking around from where the shot might have come from. I swore and dashed to another position, to be covered from another side.  No quater. After my three seconds of invulnerability were up, I lost another life. I ducked down further and shifted again, hoping that my nemesis would just miss the shot, but alas, to no avail. My gun screamed in agony, and I sighed, folded my arms and glared at the huts and various hiding places they might have been in. Gone in the first minute. Dang.
I asked the referee where the snipers were, now that I was dead. The firstsniper was taking cover in another one of the hut overlooking the fields. Standard. The second sniper, Gianni, was lying down in the long grass next to a hut on the opposite side of the field. He was the one who shot me. No one even found him, and I’ll explain why in a moment.  Anthony had found himself the perfect location- a small ditch with a gigantic bush in front of it, with a hole large enough to fit the gun through and rest its weight on. It served as a tripod, and he could steady his aim with it. It was he who first shot one of us when the game began, for he was positioned with a perfect view of the field so no one could sneak up to him in any way.
Now, the other 10 of us or so who ran off in the opposite direction we did, across the bridge to the opposite field, were all crouched in the hut. Daniel shot Gerald in the back of the head, and Gerald turned around and shot him back. Daniel screamed,
"Gerald’s the traitor!" and all hell broke loose. The referee and I were laughing our heads off because we had no clue what was going on. All we heard were the sounds of rapid fire coming from the hut for about thirty seconds, and screaming. Eugene was especially audacious.
"You IDIOTS! You’ve wiped out half our team!"
Soon enough, five of them trudged out with their hats over their guns, indicating they were dead. Daniel should have been proud of himself to cause that much havoc. The rest of them were taken out by Gianni.
I did manage to catch a glimpse of Wildflame chasing one of the snipers out of his hut and blasting the living daylights out of him, but he was taken down by Anthony before he could take the gold. Brave, and tactical in his moronic ways. What hurt about losing that game, is that the snipers have never won before. We lost because we wiped ourselves out.
Ah well. Laser corps- loads of fun, though it did get really hot and sweaty in those camos, and the gun sort of cuts into your hand if you hold it too long. After a while, you just get too tired to do anything but sit on the ground behind a shelter and hope you don’t have to move any time soon. I’d love to see how Lord Jackemus could compete in open-field combat. He’s legendary at it, and he takes after Solid Snake from Metal Gear Solid. I also learned another very important lesson.
You can appreciate a hot shower ten times more than you normally would, after you’ve had a cold shower. It feels absolutely glorious to feel the warm water in opposition to the cold. You appreciate things so much more when you only have them as a rarity. That’s why I’m going to try to have cold showers from now on, sleep on the floor, and refuse to buy ice cream except for once a month. But when I do have a hot shower, or sleep in a bed, or eat my favourite ice cream, I will enjoy it more than all the time you spent showering and sleeping and eating altogether.
Ever noticed how good it feels to be home after a holiday?
And thanks for reading this much. I know it must have been tiresome on your eyes, but I just felt the need to go into graphic detail about all the nitty gritty. Fun fun fun! I’ve got to go back there some day.
With trigger happy love,

One thought on “Laser Corps.

  1. Pat. says:

    Correction: I told you to get the sniper gun in the sniper GAME only. Geez, it sounded like you got throughly owned that day. Did you even win a single game for your team? Not happy John. Not happy at all.I liked getting a drink after fighting from down the road: the petrol sation/deli had such a wide selection.Cheers out.

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