I really, really miss you Ivy.
Lee hates me, or is getting closer to it every day. Here I am, sitting at my computer, waiting for your return. I thought you’d be back soon, but that was forty five minutes ago. I haven’t been doing much sinice- idly passing the time across MSN.
I’ve growled at Ellie every time she’s tried to talk to me for the past three days. She picks bad times to try and talk to me- just when I hit the mood that sends me cascading into a void of mindless fury.
Nobody comments on this blog. Not consistently, anyway. Nobody except the faithful Chazwozzer. I can’t expect that anybody will read this entry, or better yet, shed light on what they think about it.
I don’t know what I’m doing anymore. I’m just passing the days, doing what I feel like doing. Reading, writing and gaming mainly. They sustain me. But there’s this thing called a social life. I’ve also been neglecting my family a great deal. Perhaps I should just spend a day away from my computer and clean the house and try to do something with my mother. I know it’s only a matter of time until I go search for Scrabble online. I wish I had someone to play against in real life. I wish I’d lose, too.
Maybe I can invite someone over to my house for a while. That would be a first. Ever since Pete, last year, anyway. And all Pete did was complain about how shit I am at all the games we tried playing. Eh. I have his Christmas present for him. He’ll probably use it to kill me somehow. I love Pete.
At any rate, here I am, existing, waiting. My eyes are tired, my legs in pain. My heart is heavy. I can’t help but feel that, with no one who needs me in life in the same manner Ivy did, there is no reason for my life to continue. I’m almost unncessary, you could say. Ah well, what’s a guy to do? I will continue to wait, as I always have, and always will.