Zelda Master of the Universe

I always told you I’m brilliant… *wipes tear* and now I have proof.
 
IN YOUR FUCKING FACE GOLDEN SKULLTALAS! AAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA!
 
They weren’t invisible! They were just so blatantly obvious I couldn’t see them, nor hear them for the isolation. In Lon Lon Ranch, I scanned every wall and most every inch of it with the Lens of Truth, but it wasn’t there. It was an incredibly thorough search, but I was confident it was there someone. It had to be. The guays (cousins of the keese- bat creatures) were diving on me, and of course I was slaying them with ease when I retreated to a desolate wall to pick them off with my slingshot so I  could continue my search. And then, I heard a sound…
"Tch tch tch tch tch!" it came, over and over. My heart pounded, my blood froze, my eyes widened (which doesn’t say much), and I turned around. There on the wall above me was the second last Golden Skulltala, and I shot it down, sweeping the token into my gleeful hands with  my boomerang.
"Oh  my God, thank you so much…"
 
The next day, today in fact, I went hunting once more. It was like I was following a marshmallow, but there, in the Zoras River, I hunted. Previously, I scoured the inside of the domain thoroughly, checking every wall, in every niche, behind every rock, crack and ceiling, but my results bore nothing. I searched the frozen pools and wastelands, backtracking into the invisible spider nest, into the icy waters, pegging octoroks as I did. I scanned everywhere in reach of my longshot with the Lens, but alas, it was not there. That left the River, and the River it was. Above the bridge, too far to be heard, inconspicuous in the dark, out of eyesight, it spun around on its secretive hiding place. But no more. Climbing onto the fenceline (yes, on top of it), I raised my bow, and with perfect accuracy, nailed an arrow through its abdomen. It fell, burning in red flames, and my hookshot flew towards the golden token it left.
 
That guy I hunted and killed 50 golden skulltalas for didn’t seem too happy when I returned to him, having restocked my arrows, magic, life, ruppees,  and absolutely everything. It was to be a glorious moment, but he basically said "You have killed all one hundred. Thank you. Take this as a symbol of my appreciation." And he handed me a golden ruppee. "We’ll try not to get cursed again!" he said as the magic of my Ocarina carried me away from the cursed house.
 
Now all that’s left for me is to:
i) Catch the Hylian Loach
ii) Score 2000 in the Gerudo Horse Archery
iii) Erm… Ah! Steal Mido’s Ruppees
iv) Buy out the man in the backalley selling Bombchus.
v) Defeat King Ganondorf
vi) Learn to dance
vii) Dance til hell freezes over
 
I, ladies and gentlemen, am a Zelda Master, and I’m getting closer and closer to proving it!
 
~Link of the Hylians
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2 thoughts on “Zelda Master of the Universe

  1. Jesslahhh says:

    Hmm…Games are a waste of time, lol so STOP playing them!!! :)

  2. Ivy says:

    Of course my baby is brilliant. You’re my baby. *huggles* I love ya.

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