This is just one of my bitch bitch bitch entries. Fwee has a nicer blog than me, or at least, I envy her greatly. Perhaps to the extent of jealousy. She has such wonderful command of English, she just knows and seems to command it in a literal sense. She doesn’t bother with rules, she just writes whatever she thinks of and it comes out perfect. At least, as far as I know.
I might be able to say the same about myself, but how do I know? If I do, to me, I would be vain. If others do, they might be patronising me or doing it as an act of comfort. Pssht.
Another thing that bugs me is that she can write absolutely whatever she wants. She doesn’t have any fear of her friends commenting or tormenting her at school. She can talk freely about whatever, but I have to censor some things that I write so Pete won’t get bored and shake his head at me. He does it so often. Well guess what. This is one of those entries that express as kindly as I can (while spurred on by an irrational feeling of… unhappiness) that say "F*** YOU". Not talking to anyone in particular by the way.
Perhaps I am a joke afterall, but at least I make people laugh.
*sigh* Ivy’s late. Oh wait, no she’s not, she’s got.. a few seconds. Rar! Mew :( I feel like I’m PMSing- and no Pete, I do not have a vagina. I’m just reminded of what it might be like because of a cute drawing on deviantART. Being the kind of guy I am, I’ll go see if I can find it. http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/3349027/ It’s also attached below.
Anyway, yeah, moodswing. First I was upset, then I was, and I hate to say this, angry (I’m almost never.. angry. I hate that word, it’s so incredibly negative. When one is angry, they lose sense of all their faculties and become more dangerous than usual, and I don’t want to be dangerous, I want to be the quiet nice guy, not the raging psycho which is unfortunately what I’m occassionally labelled as -amongst other things- because sometimes I lose it. Anyway, digressing. Don’t like the word.. angry), then to a little better, and now to a state of mild depression. Mm, teenaged years. Gotta love ’em, ay?
I think I suck at English in comparison. I tried writing a vampire story you know. I just read it again and I think it’s terribly rushed. I’ll re-write it when I have the heart. I still love vampires, and sorely wish one would bite me, whether for death or for undeath, if such a word exists.
You know what? Just ignore this entry, forget about it. I’ll post it anyway just to let people know that I am human, I do get upset once in a while, and that I just want whoever’s reading to understand that I’m not who they thought I was- to whatever extent, large or small. The exception is Ivy, who knows me better than I know me. God I wish she were here, but nah she’s probably asleep after a hard day partying. I checked her email, and she filed away my story, so that’s all I’m left with as an answer. I miss you baby. I miss you alot. I am so very lonely right now, but it’s late, and you’re probably asleep. I’ll let you rest peacefully. Until morning, then, my love. Meep, moodswings all over. Oh how I’m going to laugh one day. Lol arr I’m sad. Pathetic sad, not unhappy sad, though I suppose I’m both. Ha, lowering my ego freely. I’ll just go before I continue to degrade and make an ass of myself as dear Teerapon loves to point out. I hate life sometiems and thank God for it at others. I wonder why.
Happiness is a choice John. It’s a choice, and righ now you’re not very happy are you? Lol it’s stupid not to be, you’ve had great times, you’ve got so much in life to smile about. Theeeeeere we go, that’s better *grins* Lol moodswings! Ah heaven help me…
Well… um… good night! I think. Aye, good night.